Darth Vader is crying because you bought a Star Wars back scratcher

Holy monkey balls! This week I was at Target, Kohl’s and Toys R Us and it’s raining Star Wars, I mean it’s a damn hurricane of merchandising. Now don’t get me wrong. I am the original 1977 Star Wars kid who knew every single line to the original Star Wars movie (before we called it A New Hope) and I am all for relevant Star Wars merchandising but…have we gone a teensy bit too far this year?

Don’t be flippin’ your eggs with Vader’s head.

I fear that in the next 5 years the discount outlets are going to be overrun with cast offs like this menacing Darth Vader spatula or the Stormtrooper slippers I happened upon at Kohl’s (which by the way looked about as comfortable as walking barefoot on Hoth).

Say no to the back scratcher too.

So my useless (and probably rhetorical) question of the day is “Do I need a Darth Vader back scratcher?” That would be a no.

Yes, to the shoes.

But I do kinda want these $329 blingy shoes that light up and play Star Wars music. I may hate excessive branding but I’m all for a good quality pair of shoes.

Don’t make Darth Vader cry.

Shop Star Wars responsibly this year.

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