Why Do Middle Aged Moms Want Severus Snape?

Over the years seemingly sane middle aged moms (including me) have gone bat shit crazy over Severus Snape, the somewhat tragic hero of the Harry Potter films and I have a theory as to why.

Snape is not Potter

Not many 40+ moms are into Harry (you’re young enough to be our son) Potter. Yes, Daniel Radcliffe is grown up now and appeared nude in Equus but that still doesn’t make him sexy. Sorry Daniel, we love you, but not like that.

Snape is mysterious

Yes, we know Severus Snape loved Lily and liked to pick on Potter but aside from that he’s a bit of a mystery man. What does he eat for breakfast? What would you buy him for Christmas? Boxers or briefs? Women kind of dig a bit of mystery man.

The Snape Rickman algorithm 

This one is pretty huge. In the Harry Potter books Snape was a gnarly old git who according to JK Rowling smells of bitterness and old shoes, but in the movies we get Alan Rickman. I doubt there is a straight woman over 40 that isn’t into Alan Rickman wearing a cravat and that buttoned up black frock. This is precisely the algorithm that created the dirty Severus Snape fan fiction that is all over the web. Thank Merlin for Mr. Rickman and I bet he smells pretty good too.

And speaking of that black frock

Back in the 80’s European men like John Taylor from Duran Duran wore long black coats that kind of conditioned us to swoon at the site of European men wearing long black coats. So seeing Severus Snape wearing a long black coat must trigger some sort of suppressed memory, at least that’s my theory. Oh and those buttons, what woman wouldn’t fancy unbuttoning Alan Rickman (err…Severus Snape).

Snape lives in the basement

Now normally a gnarly old git who smells of bitterness and old shoes and who lives in basement would be pretty darn unattractive. Not so with Snape. The idea of sneaking off into his lair (think Batman) just makes him even more attractive.

He’s a bad boy

I really even hate to say this but it’s true. Women love that bad boy image and walking along side the Death Eaters in the name of love just gets our goat. Geesh. Woman are pathetic.

And finally, his shoes. 

No really! Mature woman care about nice shoes, and they should. There is nothing more sexy than a man who wears quality shoes. Now you might have to dig on this one but check out the scene in The Half-Blood Prince where Snape is sewing Draco back up in the bathroom after Potter used the Sectumsempra curse on him. Snape has really nice shoes on. So sexy.

And there you have it, obviously…a few of the reasons the over forty female crowd needs to wipe a little drool off their face after watching Harry Potter.